Encounter with the parallel me...

I got a missed call from me.

Yup! It showed the caller as me. And when I looked at the number, it was the same as mine except for one digit. So I called the number and was told it was switched off. Then I got someone else to call the fake me, and it showed up on her phone as calling me though my phone didn't ring!

Hence, have decided that a parallel universe me was reaching out. The other explanation floated was GOD, which is an unacceptable theory for an atheist. So, I'll go with a matrix like parallel universe concept....complete with glitches in the matrix that allows for such bizarre occurrences.

Number crunching...

Phew! Had a most exhausting day of doing nothing productive...ran around getting signatures and filling up forms for the trip I took to singara Chennai. Considering I was returning a fair chunk of money, it should have been simple but no...had to get signatures from departments who were not really concerned with my trip. All I can say is...

BUREAUCRAZY!

Skirmishes…

It’s a war zone here…each of us has our own bunker (where we hide our heads like ostriches) – our computer screens with headphones on and music playing. We have become so entrenched in our bunker that we communicate with neighbours through the wonders of GTalk.

All this to avoid being bereted! Had a close call today…managed to escape after a brief skirmish. Snack time is a dangerous one. It’s when our guard is down and we are ready to venture out for forage…and there is the beret waiting to pounce!

The status czar...

Google is addictive, especially GTalk.

The past few days, a few of us have been on GTalk quite a bit, all the while sitting next to each other in office. One of these people has been dubbed the status czar. She loves to keep tab on everyone's google status and quiz them on the story behind it. Perhaps she's polishing up her reporter's inquisitiveness skill?

She's such a czar, that I'm constantly on my guard about having ambiguous status messages! Have to avoid that at all costs! Not that it stops the czar from querying.

Assumptions, assumptions…

We love to assume…sometimes its justifiable but usually its because some neuron gets zapped and we decide that something is just so, in spite of a lack of evidence or even evidence to the contrary.

I overheard a conversation on adoption and genetics. There are actually people who think that you can ascribe bad behaviour and attitude to genes and conveniently forget the bearing upbringing has on a person's pysche. Of course, good behaviour (whatever that may be!) on the other hand is invariably considered to be due to a good upbringing.

Then I had someone assume I smoked...just like that, for no particular reason. Me being a non smoker and a strong anti-smoking soul, got miffed and with clenched teeth retaliated.

Still, it rankles.

All I can say is that some peoples' neurons are zapped beyond repair. Perhaps parochialism and illogical thinking are genetic too.

Lost and Found…Agra

2:00 a.m. “A station has come. Is it Agra? Go and see. Everyone! Get ready”. “Oh, its not Agra”. Imagine this conversation going on endlessly for over 4 hours! This was the nightmare I was in on the train back to Delhi. A gang of Tamilians were all geared up to hop off at Agra but the train being late they had to wait till 7:00 am to actually hop off. In the meantime, they repeatedly disturbed me (and no doubt others) by having this circular conversation, interspersed with side dialogues on the inadvisability of having tea as they might miss Agra!

I’ve never been to Agra and have always wanted to visit…..though right now I don’t think I will cos I’m sick of the place! Why cannot people get off trains without waking the entire world up? This was as bad as the two old men who discussed the relative merits of various idli places in Bangalore and Madras, on the night train between the two cities, till way into the night or rather early morning!

The intelligent tsunami…

I was talking to some fishermen on the Madras coast. They said that the authorities were making noises about moving this community way inland…obviously a location more in keeping with their livelihood. Anyhow, these guys said they were determined not to budge. The powers that be told them they were in imminent danger of a repeat tsunami so they should move. The fishermen asked me, “Will the tsunami hit just us and avoid the shiny new buildings coming up on the coast? We didn’t realise the tsunami was selective and so intelligent!”

One fisherman also quoted CRZ at me and said no construction can be done 500m from the high tide line so what about the University of Madras, eh? When asked who said there could be no construction, he looked at me pityingly and said, “Madam, there is a law”.

Where have the Chronicles gone?

Met an old friend from the salad days. Somewhere during our catch up routine, he said that he’d read the Chronicles with much enjoyment and whatever had happened to them? Wonder if it was politeness or the beer talking? Nevertheless, it’s nice to know that someone remembers the Chronicles! Every once in a while a kind soul or two mentions the chronicles but the vast majority, I remain convinced, have spammed it.

A mini rant – what is with these Auroville shops in Pondicherry? They seem to perversely enjoy closing at times when you would expect people to be in the shopping mode, like Sunday evenings. The only time I could spare, and all my favourite shops were closed!

Good news! I am back into the reading mode! Have finished David Attenborough’s autobiography in two days of intermittent reading. For a while, I was worried I’d lost my ability to put away a few hundred pages at a time but ze appetite is back. HURRAH!

Landscaping tips for the discerning few…

Here is an on dit for all you folks interested in “How to keep a fashionable city”. The latest in urban landscaping is….wait for it….plastic Palm Trees! Blew your mind didn’t it? Hold on there is more. The colour of your plastic palm tree is of paramount importance. You must use a bright cheerful yellow. Occasionally you may dabble with green fronds and yellow trunk but don’t make it a habit. The pièce de resistance, are the lights that you just have to string up on the palm. This adds just the right touch of glitter that is so essential for a well dressed plastic palm tree. To see some classic pieces of this style of urban landscaping please visit Madras Central Station and Pondicherry (diagonally opposite Surguru hotel and near the bus stand where you turn for Cuddalore).

Whoever came up with the palm tree idea, has certainly done one better than the minister for Tamil culture who ingeniously spread Tamil culture by erecting large hoardings along the ECR, “Long live ancient glorious Tamil” or something similar. I totally learnt every bit of Sangam literature from seeing a dozen of those billboards. It was magical, my version of the Road to Damascus only in my case it was the East Coast Road.

On the move, I was chillin’ at home….

Was on my first work trip the past couple of weeks, and of all places, I ended up going home! Not that I’m complaining but it makes life that much more difficult. What with colleagues and bosses making daft jokes (which aren’t really funny) about how I get to go home and chill. Let me warn you, that this will be a bit of a rant ‘cos it is rather a sore point with me at present. So…I hardly chilled at home. Been working my a off meeting people and talking and talking. So much so I’m sick of meeting people and discussing issues. I thought the whole point in this job was to use the contacts that one had and get stories and information. Well, duh, I’ve lived most of my life in the south so obviously most of my contacts are based there and so how would I get stories from Jammu? And anyway if it was to be suspected that I was chillin’ at home, why send me? GRRRR.

Anyhow, it was good to be among familiar surroundings. Though certain things that I took for granted suddenly struck me as rather odd. Like our penchant for turning nouns into verbs. My favourites are all the small butcher shops which are called something Proteins like Sadic Proteins. Yes, I concur, you are being rather sadistic with the chickens! And then there is “Vijaya Scans”. What she scans is secret. Have not really noticed that elsewhere. Henceforth will keep me eyes peeled for amusing sign boards in Delhi.